He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Semen is not good for contacts.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Randomize
