Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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