why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every concussion has its silver lining
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Randomize