I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
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She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
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I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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