Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
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