i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
just found out that she named her cat after me.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
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