I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
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