he wants to bone in the snuggie
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
The uberlube is also flammable
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
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