theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Randomize
