5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
