Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
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