Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
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