Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
should my penis look like a turkey
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
