you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Randomize
