i just had sex bonerless
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
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