Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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