dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
