Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
