dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
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