Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
i think im in europe. pls send help
Did you pee in the oven last night??
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
