so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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