McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
