can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
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