just survived the first fart of the relationship.
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
