He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
The beer is more important than you right now.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
Randomize
