Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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