I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
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