Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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