Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
