oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Randomize