Grow some girl-balls and come out already
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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