he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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