Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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