Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
You made out with two different species that night
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
