a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
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