we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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