thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
