i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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