and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
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