shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
