Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
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