Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
