we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Randomize
