Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
In other news, I just burned my penis
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
