Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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