Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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