also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Randomize
