I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
