Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
