Have you finally orgasmed yet?
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
