Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
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