My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
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