I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
