Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
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