the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
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