I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Randomize
