So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
foreskin is a definite game changer
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
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