There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Randomize
