ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Randomize
