The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize
