He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
